


The Asgard Amplification

by ancarett



Category: Big Bang Theory, Thor (2011)
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-09-14
Updated: 2011-09-14
Packaged: 2017-10-23 17:18:50
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 16,337
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/252835
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ancarett/pseuds/ancarett
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jane Foster comes to Caltech, recruiting physicists to help her restore the Einstein-Rosen bridge. Chaos ensues as the guys and even the gals lend a hand with Jane's mysterious project but Sheldon's just not buying in.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Written for the bigbangbigbang challenge at livejournal. Beta-read by the extraordinary htbthomas who also provided [fantastic art for the series](http://htbthomas.tumblr.com/post/10208045295/the-big-bang-theory-thor-2011-crossover-the)!

"Thank you so much, Dr. Gablehauser, for seeing us on short notice." Jane shook the department chair's outstretched hand one more time as the tall academic slowly moved to return to his seat. He seemed painfully eager to assure their welcome, probably, she assumed, a result of Agent Coulson's intervention that had been necessary to gain access to the Caltech physics faculty.

Jane glanced at Darcy, who rolled her eyes at the fawning tones of the senior academic. Dr. Gablehauser had comfortably ignored her assistant once he'd determined she had no worthy academic title. Darcy, enjoying a year's break from her Poli Sci studies, continued to serve as Jane's 'right-hand man' in all sorts of activities now that SHIELD was funding the research program. Darcy had taken advantage of that funding to negotiate herself a full-time salary for the year as well as an iPad on which she was now ostensibly taking notes for her boss's meeting with the CalTech physics department leader.

"Of course, Dr. Foster," Dr. Gablehauser burbled on, "we'd be _honored_ if any of our graduate students, post-docs or even faculty members wanted to take you and your research associates up on the _intriguing_ research program you're developing. Why, I myself was hoping that this could be a topic for the next spring meeting of the-"

Jane leaned forward intently. "You do understand that this cannot be openly discussed. The research we're doing has been classified as top secret, at least for now. I can't release any of my findings, at least not right now."

"Well, of course not, Dr. Foster, but science depends upon communication and you must agree to relax a-"

Darcy straightened up as she saw her boss seething silently as the older man seemed to completely ignore her. Jane might be a scientist, but she wasn't registering on this guy's radar as someone to take seriously.

Peering over her glasses at the unimpressed academic, Darcy dove in. "Dr. Gablehauser, I am Dr. Foster's liaison with the federal agency that funds her research and, I believe, 11% of your department's ongoing projects. I'm sure you're not going to want to jeopardize that. This research project is considered by the government to be top secret, as Dr. Foster noted, and also as highest priority."

Jane shot a grateful smile at Darcy for the intervention and jumped back in, "I eagerly await the day I'm at liberty to publish the material but I can't even discuss it right now with people who lack clearance. You have to understand."

Dr. Gablehauser sulked slightly, but nodded his agreement. Seeming tired with the entire undertaking, he shoved a sheaf of papers across the desk which Darcy caught. "This has a listing of the physics department personnel, arranged by academic specialty and noting who has already been cleared for top secret research by the federal government."

"Thanks," Jane said brightly as Darcy slipped the paper into her messenger bag along with her iPad. The petite physicist sharply shook Dr. Gablehauser's hand as she exited his office.

Darcy lingered briefly. "Don't worry," she advised the university administrator with a grin, "if everyone's good, I won't have to call Agent Coulson to 'fix things'."

With a cheery wave, Darcy was soon in the hallway with Jane who just gave her assistant a single curious glance before thinking better of pursuing the question. Sometimes you didn't want to know what Darcy was up to, especially if it might involve tasers.

"So," Jane asked, as they walked down the corridor, "who's on Dr. Gablehauser's list?"

Darcy fished the sheets out of her bag and frowned as she read through it. "Who's not on there! There are a couple of names you'd mentioned I don't see. Dr. Koothrappali. Hmm. He's Indian, right? Maybe he doesn't have clearance?"

Jane ran her finger down the names of astrophysicists. "Funny, after all the news coverage about him being in the '30 Under 30' that made a lot of other astrophysicists jealous, you'd think they'd promote him more? He should be in the astrophysics section but I don't see his name at all."

Darcy flipped through the print-out. "Nope, don't see him elsewhere. We can ask the department admins who put the list together and see if he's just not here anymore or considered some 'dangerous foreigner'."

Jane looked a little shocked. "Do you think that's okay? I mean, wouldn't Agent Coulson tell us to maintain secrecy?"

Darcy rolled her eyes and tugged on Jane's wrist as she walked over to the office where several women were housed at expansive, low desks, surrounded by stacks of forms. "You don't think Dr. Gablehauser put this list together himself, do you? Everyone knows that it's the secretaries and administrative assistants who run everything at a university."

They were in the room when Darcy finished her last sentence. A red-headed woman raised her head at those words and smiled broadly. "You sound pretty smart."

Darcy smiled triumphantly. "I am, thanks, and I’m sure you are, too. This is Dr. Jane Foster and I'm her assistant. We have a couple questions about the list of people she's going to be able to interview about assisting in her project."

The other woman nodded. "Oh, yes. Irene here pulled together all that information. It's up-to-date on who's not on leave and who already has clearance, right, Irene?"

A tall woman with spiky white hair got up from her desk and walked over. "Yeah, that's right. Is there someone you were looking for?"

Jane slipped the papers out of Darcy's hands and flipped back to the first page. "Here, among the astrophysicists. I was thinking about taking to Dr. Koothrappali. Is he at on sabbatical or something?"

"No," Irene said, smirking a little. "He doesn't have full security clearance yet for something like this but there's more of a problem than that with getting Dr. Koothrappali to work with the likes of you."

Darcy and Jane exchanged worried looks. "What's the matter?" Jane asked in confusion.

Irene snorted, "He can't say 'boo!' to a female unless he's drunk. In which case, he says a whole lot more than 'boo!' if you get my drift. So even if your agency did the paperwork to get him cleared to work on your top secret whatever, it wouldn't do you any good."

Jane bit her lip, stifling a chuckle. "Okay, I get your point. I can't work with someone who can't talk to me!"

Irene crossed her arms and nodded approvingly. "Now, there's a few more on the list you might want to watch out for, but we tried to clear off the completely impossible candidates. Well, most of them, right, Dot?"

The red-haired woman looked up from her spreadsheet at the last. "Oh, yeah. Dr. Gablehauser was insistent we put some names back on the list, wasn't he? I think he was hoping you'd take some of them off his hands! Sorry girls but maybe you'll find what you need before you get to him, anyway."

Jane and Darcy glanced at each other in renewed concern, but Dot's phone rang and a student came in with a form for Irene, so they couldn't pursue the matter further.

Darcy pulled Jane back into the hallway. "It's okay if we run into the nameless dudes of doom. I have my taser and it's taken out tougher men than any we're likely to meet with here," she advised.

Jane winced at that memory before turning her attention to the list. "Okay, let's put the astrophysics on the back burner for now and look at some of the other specialties we need. How about plasma physics? Hmm, here's a name. . . "

***

"Oh, god," Jane breathed as they stumbled backward out of the basement lab, clutching the somewhat crumpled papers Dr. Gablehauser had handed to her just a short while before. "That must have been who the ladies were warning us about!"

Darcy wasn't slowing down enough to talk. "Come on" she insisted, dragging Jane down the hall and around the corner. "I don't want him to come out and find us!"

Jane stumbled after her assistant who only slowed down once they'd made another turn. "Okay, cross Barry Kripke off the list. He was scary!"

Darcy grabbed the papers and, after fishing around in her messenger bag for a pen, did just that. "He was a psycho little man. Kept looking up at the ceiling and ranting about getting his 'wevenge on you, Cooper'. I should've tasered him!"

Jane rolled her eyes but didn't seem to disagree. His paranoia had been unsettling enough that Jane would've thought about that, too, if the door wasn't so close. "I'm just glad we're out of there," Jane settled for saying as she peered at the signs in the hallway. "But where to next?"

Darcy pulled out her iPad and called up a floor plan of the building from the campus website. "Why don't we check out the cafeteria? I need a coffee and maybe we'll find some more people to talk to there. Sane people!"

Jane followed as Darcy led them down the hallway toward a set of double doors. "Sane people? You really don't know much about physicists, do you?"


	2. Chapter 2

"Hey, would you look at that?" Howard was like a pointer, eyes fixed on two women who stood in the entrance to the cafeteria, appearing a little bit lost. "That's a bit of eye candy."

Raj looked up from his beefaroni and his eyes widened before immediately dropping back to his plate. Sheldon glanced up idly, curled his lip and returned his focus to his plate. "Really, Howard. I thought the one advantage of you entering into a more permanent relationship with Bernadette would be an end to this childish reaction to every female who enters your orbit."

Howard gaped at Sheldon's disapproving expression. "I may be engaged, but I'm not dead. They're new and, well, they're nice."

Raj nodded emphatically at Howard's description then leaned over to Howard's ear to whisper something urgently.

The engineer turned to his shy friend with a look of disdain. "No, I don't think she's a dead ringer for Natalie Portman. But the other one with the cap reminds me a bit of that girl from the high school movie, you know the one with the guy and the girl looking for some music. . . ."

Raj whispered again.

"Not _High School Musical_!" Howard responded impatiently. The two friends seemed ready to go at their dispute, but Sheldon disapprovingly intervened.

"Don't be ridiculous," Sheldon interrupted. "They're researchers. At least one of them is: some quantum gravity theorist who's got a top secret research project in New Mexico of all places and is head-hunting for collaborators."

Raj raised his eyebrows emphatically, indicating he'd like to hear more. Howard obliged since he was equally curious. "How do you know all this?"

"Twitter," Sheldon sniffed, "Kripke just posted a rant in four parts. His spelling is atrocious!" At the last, Sheldon's lips curled into a satisfied smile.

Howard nodded slowly, thinking things through. "Uh-huh. Okay, why is he ranting?"

"Apparently he believes I've staged their visit as another prank against him," Sheldon smirked. "But really? Would I have anything to do with the misguided pursuit of some quantum gravity boondoggle, even as a prank? How nonsensical!"

Howard lifted his eyes to the heavens as Raj shrugged and shook his head. Clearly this was too far beyond the pale for Sheldon Cooper, Ph.D., to be even marginally associated with, at least as Sheldon viewed the world.

Howard watched as the two women warily eyed the half-empty cafeteria before moving on to the counter in the next room. Raj sighed happily as women vacated the common space. "Ah," he breathed, "I can speak again."

Sheldon snorted. "You really have to get that dealt with someday, Raj. It's most annoying to have conversations stop and start whenever a female catches your eye. It's as bad as sharing the table with a teenager!"

Raj straightened his shoulders in indignation. "It's annoying for you? What do you think it's like for me since I'm the one who suffers!"

Howard put one hand on Raj's shoulder. "Hey, hey. Relax. Anyway, they're coming back."

Raj glared furiously across the table at Sheldon one last time as the two women settled with their coffee at the second table over. The one with the glasses was poking away at an iPad while the other woman used her hands to flatten out a half-crumpled clump of papers, then began to run her fingers down the list, searching for something as she made notes in a small, scuffed journal.

Howard's chest puffed out under his canary yellow polyester shirt. Pulling at the collar of his kelly-green dickie, he assumed a look of suave assurance as he rose from the table. "I'll see if I can help them."

Sheldon appeared a little bit puzzled at that while Raj simply looked alarmed. They both watched while Howard sidled over to their table, hooking his thumbs into his wide white belt. "Howdy, ladies. Can I help you?"

The two women eyed him cautiously. Finally, the stern-seeming young woman with the glasses spoke. "I don't know, are you a physicist?"

Howard deflated slightly. "Um, no, I'm an engineer, but I _know_ a lot of physicists. Like these two guys over there."

The two women glanced over to where Raj watched them nervously and Sheldon studiously avoided their gaze. "Um, okay," the other woman said. "I'm Jane Foster and this is my assistant, Darcy Lewis. I'm working on a project funded by the Strategic Homeland Intervention Enforcement Logistics Division. We're looking for some people who might want to join our team or contribute to the research program."

"Strategic Homeland Intermission What?" Howard asked jokingly, and then raised his hands. "Look, it doesn't really matter. What does matter is that my fiancée would want me to make sure to help out two women in distress, so I'll introduce you to a few people I know, okay?"

"Your fiancé?" Darcy questioned, glancing over at the other table. Jane's eyes followed to where Raj sat expectantly.

"No, no," Howard hurriedly said as he figured out the direction of their thoughts. "My fiancée's a biologist and _she_ is not here right now. But over at that table are Drs. Koothrappali and Cooper of the Caltech physics program and I'm sure they can help you."

Raj, listening to every word Howard said, visibly panicked while Sheldon narrowed his eyes to glare at the engineer. Jane was rising eagerly from her chair (Darcy following slowly and warily, clutching her coffee cup close as she stowed her iPad in her bag) to come over to the guys’ table.

Jane took the empty seat at the table and Darcy, with a wary glance at the other empty seat, chose to pull up a chair from the next table over and plunk it next to Jane's. Her boss had already launched into set of comments, all directed at the lanky, disdainful guy in the Green Lantern t-shirt, before Darcy could even get focused.

"So, you see, Dr. Cooper, I wondered if you'd be interested in-"

"No," Sheldon said baldly, "I wouldn't be interested in whatever wrong-headed quantum gravity experiments you're pursuing, however much funding you have somehow managed to wring out from the government."

"Wrong-headed?" Jane replied incredulously.

"Uh-oh," Darcy muttered under her breath as she recognized the signs of two scientists preparing for battle.

"Perhaps I wasn't clear enough," Sheldon conceded, "hopelessly misguided, essentially erroneous, wildly impossible and just plain idiotic is how I'd have to characterize any research program that's based on such pie-in-the-sky paradigms as an Einstein-Rosen bridge."

Jane's eyes narrowed as she leaned across the table, causing Raj to flinch away from her movements. "I'll have you know that I have actually seen and-"

"Whoa, Jane," Darcy cautioned. "Zip it! Remember the Men in Black? I want to keep my iPad, thankyouverymuch and not get stashed in some black hole somewhere."

"'Stashed in a black hole'? Please," Sheldon commented. "You're clearly not a physicist. And, anyway, whatever 'privileged information' you're trying to protect, it's too late. Barry Kripke has tweeted your recent encounter in amusing detail."

"Oh, crap," Darcy said, pulling out the iPad and opening up her browser. "Agent Jackboots will have my soul."

Howard laughed uneasily at her panicky scrolling. "Oh, the FBI types aren't that bad, now."

"These aren't FBI," Jane said testily as she watched her assistant search the web. "And Dr. Kripke's violating all sorts of clauses in the confidentiality agreement by publicizing our request."

Sheldon unfolded himself from his seat with an expression of superior amusement. "I wouldn't worry. Only three people follow Barry Kripke and two of them are Twitterbots. Anyway, you're approaching us, here, and I can assume that your list includes neither Dr. Koothrappali or Mr. Wolowitz. So pot? Kettle? Black."

Picking up his tray, he left the table in stunned silence. Raj shoved his chair around to whisper in Howard's ear. "Look, I agree, but it's Sheldon," Howard hissed back to his friend, "What can we-"

Noticing Darcy's and Jane's intense regard, Howard pulled away with a harrumph. "Well, I'm sorry. I should have realized that Sheldon was likely to go off-"

Jane waved a hand wearily. "Oh, every physicist knows about Sheldon Cooper. His vendetta against the editors of _Scientific Communications in Physics_ is practically legend. It was silly of me to think that a string theorist would give the time of day to our project. It's just-"

Raj leaned over to Howard as if to whisper in his ear again. Howard angrily shoved him away. "Look, I'm not going to be some go-between. Anyway, I've got work to do."

Howard rose then bowed to the women with theatrical flare. "Ladies, if you'll excuse me."

A few other people entered the cafeteria as he left. Jane and Darcy were left with a rigidly nervous Raj staring at the two of them, hands planted flat on the tray on either side of his cold plate of beefaroni. The two visitors shared a wary look before Darcy tapped her iPad quickly. "Look, Dr. Koothrappali, we understand you aren't comfortable talking with women, but Dr. Foster would like your input on some of our work, even if you don't have clearance. Am I right, Jane?"

Nodding gratefully, the older woman took the offered tablet and the screen blossomed with numbers. "We're working on an interesting experiment in quantum gravity physics and your expertise in dark matter physics might be crucial to our progress in our project."

Raj raised his eyebrows questioningly as Jane slid the device across the table until it bumped against the edge of his dining tray. "If you could just take a look at our data, here, and maybe you could offer a suggestion? Unofficially, of course."

The astrophysicist appeared torn between enthusiastic agreement and panicked departure but he managed to control the latter, focusing on the iPad and not the women. Seeing him gingerly pick it up to start reading, while Darcy watched with her own version of panic, Jane reached into her own bag and grabbed her wallet.

"Here, Darcy, why don't you grab us something to eat while Dr. Koothrappali consults?"

With an incredulous glance at her boss, the young intern did just that. "Hope you like beefaroni," she muttered darkly under her breath as she left the table.

Jane watched warily as Raj quickly zipped through a couple of screens, focusing intently on the data. Darcy returned with two plates of salad accompanied by pop cans. Jane automatically picked up her fork and began to eat, all the while quietly observing as Raj read through some of their data and pulled up a series of image files.

With an excited look upward as if to implore some invisible god, Raj opened a new file which he furiously filled with notes. Jane and Darcy had finished their lunch before he was through: seemingly shell-shocked, he looked up in triumph from the screen to see two women watching his every move.

Thankfully, the tablet was sitting on the table as Raj awkwardly scrambled out of his seat in sudden shyness. "You’re done?" Jane asked gently, pulling the iPad over to their side of the table and scrolling through the long strings of text. "Oh, I . . . this could be really something! I hadn’t thought about the ways in which dark matter might be a contributing force for our gravitational calculations!"

Raj smiled, blanched and settled for dropping any attempt at eye contact as he picked up his tray from the table with shaky hands. Jane settled for an encouraging smile and resisted the urge to wave goodbye, fearing that this would set the shy scientist off all over again.

Darcy reached out for the iPad as soon as he'd turned away. "Baby!" the younger woman crooned, softly rubbing at the touch screen. "I promise to take good care of you." The last was said with a slightly resentful glare directed at Jane.

"You're the one who thought of it," Jane said defensively as Darcy continued to glare at her while cradling her device.

"I didn't think he'd take it so long," Darcy replied. "You know, maybe just offer some genius insight and give me back my baby before she got all smudged and stuff. Next time, bring paper!"

Jane smiled. "Hopefully we won't have to be here for more than a few days. What we got from Dr. Koothrappali will be a help for certain, but I'm going to need a lot more if we're going to get the bridge rebuilt."

Darcy nodded as she rose from the cafeteria table. "Well, if any of them are as cranky as that Kripke guy, I won't promise not to use my taser!"

***

It was late in the afternoon when they came up to a stark basement door propped open. The hum of a laser inside ceased, followed by a mumbled "Frak this!"

Jane grimaced. They desperately needed an experimental physicist who could advise on some of the equipment they'd be building at Puente Antiguo but had batted 0 for 5 so far in the afternoon. "Let's give it a try," she whispered to Darcy, then bravely stepped up to the doorway.

"Excuse me? Dr. Hofstadter?"

The sole occupant of the lab straightened up from a crouch beside a large laser assembly. Shoving protective glasses up to his hairline, he revealed a thick-rimmed pair of prescription glasses underneath. "Um, yeah. And you are?"

"Oh, forgive me," Jane smiled, "I'm Dr. Jane Foster and I'm seeking a few short and long term collaborators with security clearance for a federally funded project in applied quantum physics I'm operating out of a new facility in New Mexico."

"Um, applied quantum physics? That's a bit of a stretch for most research facilities," Leonard said as he straightened up, fumbling a bit as he tried to lay a tool down on the table beside him but had to scramble as it rolled off the edge.

"But, hey, come on in, Dr. Foster and you are?" He smiled a bit awkwardly at Darcy at the last.

She gave him an unimpressed once-over. "Darcy Lewis. I'm Dr. Foster's assistant and her liaison with the federal agency."

"Impressive," Leonard said, seeming to mean it. He pulled out a couple of stools and parked himself on one. "Unless you want to go all the way to the third floor, I don't have comfy chairs and I'm not sure I can be of much help but I just had a lens crack on this assembly so I guess now's a good a time as any to take a break."

Jane ignored the stool and moved over to his laser system. "May I? I build most of my own equipment but this new project's calling for a much bigger and more complicated assembly than anything I've done before, so I was hoping to find an experimental physicist who'd be willing to consult, at least."

"Be my guest," Leonard offered as Jane examined his machine. "You interested, Darcy?"

"I'm a Poli-Sci person, not a physics sci person," Darcy said. "I'll just sit and watch the pros."

Leonard nodded, leaving Darcy perched on a stool while he answered some more of Jane's questions. "Geeks," Darcy sighed and turned for solace to her gadgets. At least Caltech had provided decent wireless access!

"What kind of stuff are you studying, did you say?" Leonard asked as he watched Jane inspecting the generator connections.

"I didn't, actually," Jane admitted with a laugh, "but we're looking to recreate an Einstein-Rosen bridge."

Leonard whistled, almost overbalancing as he'd leaned back on one of the tables in his lab at the start of her answer, only to find himself unbalanced by the response. "A wormhole? Let me get this right, you said 'recreate' so you've done it before? No way! Oh, the string theorists are going to have a cow, including my roommate."

Leonard grinned at the prospect while Jane eyed him carefully. "You know this is a top secret project, right? You can't go talking about this with just anyone."

Leonard chuckled. "My roommate isn't just anyone. He's Sheldon Cooper and he's also on the faculty here."

Darcy looked up from her web surfing long enough to make a face. "You have our sympathies," she said while Jane bit her lip at Leonard's laughing acknowledgment.

"So, you've met him?" Leonard shoved his hands into the pocket of his hoodie as the two women shared another wary glance.

"Yes, we did, in the cafeteria. And a couple of others. I'm afraid your roommate wasn't very interested in what we're doing. In fact, he said that it wasn't possible," Jane explained.

"Well, he is a string theorist and you're talking quantum theory. Pretty much you're laying waste to everything he's studying," Leonard said.

Jane shook her head fiercely. "Much as it pains me, I think that some parts of string theory could be viable. But given that I have hard data and the hopes of getting more, if I can just get this new project up and running, I figure that he's going to be one of many who have to come to terms with it."

Leonard chuckled absently again, obviously picturing Sheldon's horrified chagrin at the shooting down of his favourite paradigm. "So all we need to do is help you recreate a wormhole. That shouldn't be too hard if you've done it already."

Jane slumped a little. "Well, yes, we've _witnessed_ the phenomenon before, more than once, down in New Mexico which is why we're working there. This time we're trying to make the wormhole happen and that's where the problems come in. My theory is that if we begin with a properly attuned power source in the right location, we can harness the energy that should make up the bridge and restore it."

Leonard stared off in abstraction. "Well, power systems aren't my forte-"

"Don't worry," Jane assured him, "we've got the power system secured but it's the transformation of the energy into something that's compatible with the wormhole's readings that's got us stumped."

"Here," Leonard said eagerly, "let me show you something that I was playing around with last year. It might be of interest for your project although you'd need to scale it up massively. . . ."

His laptop pulled up before them, Leonard and Jane eagerly discussed possibilities, co-opting Darcy's iPad long enough to grab a few essential data points before handing it back to the younger woman.

"Uh, if you guys don't mind, maybe I'll go get a coffee or something?" Darcy interrupted after a half an hour of steady science talk whizzed past her.

"What?" Leonard said muzzily, looking up from the diagram he was sketching out on the back of a paper out of the recycling bin. He focused on the clock and blanched. "Oh, shit. I've gotta Skype with my girlfriend in about two minutes. Gotta wrap this up."

Jane and Darcy shared a look of surprise as Leonard cleared their way back to the door. "Priya, well, she's kind of touchy about seeing me with other women since we're on a _really_ long distance relationship," Leonard explained. "So could we finish up now? And you can email me, here-" he scribbled his email address on the paper with his diagram.

"Don't worry," Jane said as she took the paper, "we understand. Thanks for this help and I'll email you."

The two women were quickly hustled out of the room as a chime sounded from the laptop. The door slowly closing behind them as they heard Leonard's voice take on a higher, slightly-stressed pitch. "Priya, honey. How good to hear from-"


	3. Chapter 3

  
"Oof," Darcy said as she collapsed in the chair in their room at the Athanaeum, Caltech's faculty club. "I am so done. Recruiting scientists is hard work."

Jane looked up from the desk where she was neatly stowing her paperwork. "That's why they say that working with academics is like herding cats. We don't move in groups or in predictable ways. Do you want to pass on dinner?"

Darcy shook her head fiercely. "Are you kidding? I'm so ready for anything different to eat after months surviving on diner food and my own lousy cooking. Just give me five minutes please and a chance to freshen up, k?"

Jane chuckled but did just that, quickly sorting through the day's emails while Darcy power-napped. A short while later, visibly restored, the two of them went downstairs to the basement, seeking out the comfy buzz of the Rathskeller where a dozen or so others were already congregated.

The two women ordered drinks and then were leisurely surveying the menu when three other women entered. "See, Bernadette," pontificated the brown-haired woman in sensible shoes, "this is what you're missing out on by not opting for an academic career. The ambiance of scholarship and true camaraderie!"

Two blonde women trailed after her, one petite with glasses and the other a taller woman with an extremely bored expression. "Oh, Amy," said the first with a giggle, "you know that I couldn't say 'no' when they waved all that money at me. I have to do something to keep my Howard in style!"

The taller woman taking up the rear inelegantly snorted. "I don't think you have to work very hard to impress him, Bernadette. Just don't try to make him brisket," she advised as the three of them sidled up to the bar next to Darcy and Jane.

Bernadette shook her head soberly. "I wouldn't. That's his mom's job. She and I have agreed to respect each other's interests. Plus," Bernadette said brightly, "she'll keep taking him to his dentist appointments once we're married."

The brunette harrumphed, handing drinks menus to the other two. "Enough of that boring domesticity. We should order if we want to get our party on tonight."

Darcy giggled surreptitiously at the formal intonation used in the phrase and poked at Jane. "You ready to get your party on, Jane?"

"Jane?" Bernadette perked up at the name and taking in the appearance of the two women next to her. "Dr. Jane Foster?"

Jane and Darcy shared curious looks. "Yes," Jane answered, "how do you know?"

The tiny blonde waved one hand dismissively. "A little bird told me."

The four other women around her stared at her incredulously and a slightly cross look appeared on her face. "Okay, my fiancé, Howard, mentioned that when he was having lunch today with Sheldon and Raj, he met and helped this physics Ph.D. and her assistant. He described both of you very well, so I knew it must be you."

"I'll bet he described her well," the taller blonde muttered under her breath. Laying the drinks menu down on the bar, she extended a hand to first Darcy and then Jane. "I'm Penny. You've already met Bernadette and this is-"

The brunette stepped off her bar stool and offered one hand peremptorily. "Amy Farrah Fowler, neurobiologist."

Jane smiled in a nonplussed fashion at the emphatic shake. "Jane Foster, quantum theorist. And this is my intern, Darcy Lewis. It's nice to meet you. Do you all know Howard?"

"Yes," Amy said brusquely, resuming her seat on the bar stool. "I believe this is what the social scientists call a bonding experience. Drinks?"

Bernadette nodded eagerly. "That's the ticket! I'll have a Cosmo. Penny?"

Penny and the other women placed their orders with the bartender and once they were prepared, the five hived off for a table where they could talk more easily.

"So," Penny drawled, "we know you've met Howard, Raj and Sheldon. You obviously need a drink after that."

"Hey!" Bernadette said defensively, glaring over the rims of her glasses at Penny, who rolled her eyes at the smaller woman's fierce expression. "Howard's not that bad."

Jane nodded politely. "He was pretty nice even if he couldn't help us very much, being an engineer. We're here recruiting physicists to consult on a research project."

"Ah," Amy said owlishly as she sipped on her Cosmopolitan. "So, you're in industry, like Bernadette?"

Jane laughed. "No. Our work's too 'out there' for most businesses, I think. We've got federal funding."

"Sounds sexy," Bernadette said with a coy grin as she stirred her drink idly with the lime twist. "Amy and I are both biologists, so we couldn't be much help."

"Too bad," Jane said. "You seem more fun than the physicists we met with today. What's your specialty, Penny?"

Penny clapped her free hand to her chest with an astonished laugh. "Me? Oh, no. I don't have a Ph.D. or even a bachelor's. I'm as far from a scientist as you can get!"

"Me, too," Darcy offered with a smile. "And I don't know about you, but listening to all this science talk is making me hungry. You guys know what's good here?"

Amy nodded intently. "We'll get the Comfort Platter to start. I've told Bernadette that she has to try the fish tacos!"

Food ordered, the women went back to parsing out their connections to each other and the crazy crowd of physicists at Caltech. No one seemed much surprised at Jane and Darcy description of Sheldon's uncooperative nature but their breakthrough in communicating with Raj did spark some conversation.

"Maybe you should try that next time you wake up in bed with him," Amy said to Penny.

"There isn't going to _be_ a next time," Penny groaned, draining her drink and waving to the waiter bringing their appetizer for another.

"Sounds juicy," Darcy said, "he's cute, but how would you deal with a guy who couldn't talk to you?"

"It's all sublimation for her desire for Leonard anyway," Amy diagnosed solemnly as she helped herself to some macaroni and cheese bits from the appetizer platter. "These are delicious!"

"Leonard as in Leonard Hofstadter, also in the physics department," Darcy asked incredulously. "This gets more and more-what?"

Jane let go of Darcy's elbow that she'd pinched tightly, satisfied that she'd stopped the younger woman's highly embarrassing line of questions but Penny, who was on her second Margarita, smiled ruefully.

"It's okay," she said as she set her glass on the table. "I know this sounds weird. Heck, it _is_ weird."

"Leonard and Penny dated for a while, then she dumped him. Since he's dating Raj's sister Priya, Penny got shit-faced and slept with Raj so now Raj and Leonard aren't talking," Amy laid out the confusing scenario as clearly as she could. "There could be a sociology dissertation in all of this, you know."

"Thanks," Penny said wearily, "I'll pass. Anyway, so you guys met up with Leonard, too! Leonard and Sheldon live across the hall from me. That's how I met the guys."

Bernadette brightly leaned forward. "Penny and I worked together at the Cheesecake Factory until I finished my Ph.D. She and Leonard introduced Howard and I. It was so romantic!"

"You couldn't stand him," Penny said. "Remember?"

"Boy, do I," Bernadette confided. "But then we bonded over how awful our mothers are and that led us into our romantic relationship." She clasped her hands, seemingly starry-eyed.

"And then I came into the picture. Sheldon and I were matched up on a dating website although, ironically, neither of us actually sought to date. We're friends but Penny and Bernadette are my besties," Amy finished proudly.

"That's, er, nice," Jane said weakly, taking a hearty swig of her drink as she stifled a chuckle. The waiter came by to take their orders and soon the talk drifted. Darcy bemoaned the lack of interesting activities in Puente Antiguo and Penny detailed all the best places to shoe shop around Pasadena with Bernadette and Amy adding their own particular commentary on the shopping prospects.

"You live in an Airstream trailer?" Penny commiserated with Jane as she grabbed a fish taco from the appetizer platter. "Man, a lot of my family lives in trailers and mobile homes, but I bet New Mexico's a lot worse than Nebraska, at least in the summer."

Jane nodded as she picked at the appetizer selection. "Yeah, there's never any room to put anything anywhere."

Darcy nodded emphatically at the last. "You know, I totally think that we should be telling those SHIELD guys that our funding ought to extend to some sort of housing allowance. It's going to be inhuman to stay in those trailers for much longer."

Amy nodded. "A good researcher requires extensive physiological support. We're brain athletes, after all. Your funding should ensure that you have sufficient means for healthy living with an occasional chance to kick loose and get a little funky." The last was said with a sober straight face that segued to annoyance at the other women's giggles.

Bernadette and Amy advised Jane on the pitfalls of working with the research offices on campus: "Whatever you do, if you have to set up an agreement with our grants officer, don't give them the only copy of your paperwork! They lost mine two times in a row," Bernadette woefully explained.

When dinner was done, Amy refused to accept that the other women were full. Pulling the dessert menu over to her, she tapped imperiously on the plastic. "Look! They have mini chocolate bundt cakes! What could be more appropriate for a girls' night out than mini chocolate bundt cakes?"

It was enough persuasion for them all to cave in. "Chocolate," Darcy said with a sidelong glance at her boss, "is great for sexual frustration."

Amy nodded in all seriousness. "There exists an extensive body of research on chocolate's physiological and psychological effects. I, myself, have noticed that when I am particularly frustrated, a substantial serving of chocolate will serve to sublimate those longings."

Penny stifled a chuckle. "Tell us something we don't know!"

Amy opened her mouth to do just that but Bernadette interrupted. "Sexual frustration?" she asked coyly. "Are the men of New Mexico not up to standards?"

Darcy snorted. "Some of them aren't too bad but I wasn't talking about myself. It's poor Jane. She's in a _real_ long-distance relationship."

Jane's face flushed pink. "Darcy," she said warningly.

Penny tapped her drink glass against the table top. "No, no. It's a girls' night out and there can't be any deep dark secrets on a girls' night out. Spill the details on your guy."

Jane darted glances up at the four other women, three regarding her with curiosity and one with a mischievous grin. "Well, I really can't tell you that much-."

Darcy broke in. "He's the hottest bit of manflesh that I've ever seen. Six foot plus and abs that you could play a symphony on. Rawr!"

Amy downed the last of her drink in one heated gulp. "Do tell," she urged.

Jane gasped at Darcy. "Hey, whose guy is he anyway?"

Darcy just smiled smugly as Penny and Bernadette badgered her boss for details. "Where did you meet him? What's he do? Does he have a brother?"

"Hey, a girl can have fantasies," Bernadette said defensively as the other four stared at her for the last comment. "Just because I'm madly in love with Howard doesn't mean I'm dead!"

Darcy fiddled around in her pocket and pulled out her iPhone. "Look, I even have a picture of him!"

Jane grabbed for the phone but it was too late. The other women were passing around the device, staring in admiration at Thor's smiling image.

"Oh, girl, that is one good-looking hunk of manhood," Penny breathed. Amy's mouth opened and closed silently a few times.

Jane blushed again as she made a successful grab for the phone. She looked down at Thor's grinning face and her tension seemed to melt away for a moment. "I know but, well, it's complicated."

Handing the phone back to Darcy, she looked at her table mates before turning her gaze to the tabletop. "Thor's a really sweet guy. A bit clueless at times, but really selfless. Very courteous and old-fashioned."

"Weird name but he sounds awesome, except for the part where this is a long-distance relationship," Penny mused. "What is he, off in Afghanistan or Antarctica?"

"Something like that," Jane said weakly. "He wasn't able to say when he'd be back, though, and I wonder-"

Darcy's mouth fell and she scooted over closer to Jane, giving her boss a hug. "He'll be back, I know it."

Penny leaned in from the other side to lay a comforting hand on Jane's. "I'm sorry. It's got to be tough, but keep the faith."

The waiter brought their chocolate cakes and the five women set into their desserts with quiet focus.

Amy finished first, daintily wiping at her lips with her napkin, before carefully laying it back in her lap. "I, too, am in a long-distance relationship although I have no emotional attachment to my fiance, Faisal. Still, I believe this gives me some insight into your emotional state, so I will give you my best advice."

Amy leaned across the table, staring Jane in the eyes. "Lose yourself in your work. Devote yourself to it utterly. Live it, if at all possible. It will sustain you."

Penny raised one hand. "Whoa, whoa. Woman does not live by brainpower alone, you know."

Amy nodded in recognition of the rebuke. "In that case, consider investing in a quality electric toothbr-."

"Whoa," Penny repeated. "I'm sure Jane can handle that part herself, don't you think?"

"Definitely," Bernadette chimed in, before Amy could answer. "But I think Amy's right in the first part. If you love your work, it can really be a comfort when you're separated from the one you love. Like the time in my lab when we were in isolation for two weeks after the virus incident. . . ."

Penny and Darcy shared pained looks. "You know, you may have a point, there," Penny said thoughtfully, "You might want to talk more with Leonard. I mean, after all, he's in a long-distance relationship, too, and I know he needs the distraction."

"Especially now that he won't talk to Raj, anymore," Bernadette needed while Penny stared at her flatly in exasperation.

Jane nodded as she stared off in abstraction. "He's someone I'd like to work with a bit more. His expertise in experimental physics could be really helpful in trying to get past some of our implementation problems."

Amy harrumphed. "Pardon me, but as far as technical issues go, I suppose that's fair but, for my money, I think Sheldon would be the more valuable collaborator to secure."

Darcy rolled her eyes as she methodically cleared the last of the chocolate cake from her plate. "Dude was seriously hostile. I don't think that he likes us at all."

Penny nodded glumly. "I've known Sheldon for four years and I can count the group of people he calls friends on one hand without using all my fingers. So don't take it personally. Heck, I'm not always included on his list of friends!"

Amy glared at Penny for the perceived insult. She turned and fixed Jane's gaze. "Penny doesn't understand Sheldon's genius. I'll drop a hint or two in Sheldon's ear that your project needs his assistance. I'm sure he'll soon see that I'm right."

The other women nodded with smiles half-hidden. Bernadette looked up brightly after they'd paid their tabs. "So, how long are you in Pasadena, anyway?"

"We'll head back to Puente Antiguo the day after tomorrow but if I can set up some collaborations, maybe we'll be back in another month," Jane answered.

"Look us up when you do!" Penny insisted and, after a brief exchange of contact information, Darcy and Jane promised to do just that.

***

"Leonard?" Sheldon asked airily.

Leonard looked up from his intent reading of a sheaf of papers. "Yes?"

"What are you doing?"

Leonard squinted over at his roommate muzzily. "Why do you want to know, Sheldon?"

Sheldon pursed his lips as he continued to focus on his computer screen. "Because I want to know if you're wasting your time, Leonard. That is, more than usual. I'm preparing my weekly update on your activities to your mother and I'd be remiss if I didn't mention what a horrific waste of your intellectual capacity, limited as it is, on such a wild goose chase as Jane Foster's quantum theory project."

Leonard sighed in exasperation, dropping the papers onto his desk and turning to face Sheldon. "Really? You report to my mother?"

"She cares, Leonard," Sheldon said snippily, typing a few characters on his keyboard before shifting to face the shorter man. Disappointment evident on his face. "Really, I know you're in a professional rut, but taking up with such a charlatan? You might as well team up with a creationist!"

Leonard stalked over to the kitchen, filling the kettle up with water while Sheldon returned his fingers to the keyboard. "Uh-huh," Leonard said with weary disinterest once he'd put the kettle onto boil.

"Your mother and I are very disappointed in you, Leonard," Sheldon added as he looked up at his roommate. "And I'll have Earl Grey, thank you very much."

Leonard reared back from where he was leaning on the counter. "What do you mean mom's disappointed in me? And I never said I'd make you tea."

"Roommate agreement," Sheldon said, tapping the folder on his desk. "I'm sure you know the relevant clause."

"Fine, whatever," Leonard irritably grabbed a second mug for Sheldon, located the tea bags and dropped one into the mug.

The two men maintained their silence while the water heated. Only after the kettle boiled and Leonard had prepared their drinks did Sheldon break the silence. "So, what do you have to say for yourself?"

Leonard sighed as he sat back down at his desk. "I don't have to explain myself or my research to you, Sheldon."

Sheldon harrumphed. "Maybe not, although I'd certainly disagree, but what about your mother?"

Leonard rolled his eyes but before he could answer, there was a knock at the door followed by the handle instantly turning. Howard walked in with a breezy "Hi, guys!"

"Hey there, Howard," Leonard said with some relief. "We missed you at the comic book store. How's it going?"

Howard stopped flatfooted at the unexpected enthusiasm of his friend's greeting. "Just fine. If I never look at another china pattern again, I'll be good. Wedding planning is not for the faint of heart. And you?"

"Oh, I'm fine, just fine. Doing some consultation on the you-know-what project," Leonard said, raising the sheaf of papers he'd gotten from Jane just a few days before, seeking his input.

"Which is nothing more than taking money out of the hands of legitimate researchers, if you ask me," Sheldon interrupted.

"I didn't," Leonard testily responded before turning to look at the newcomer. "So, are you ready for Halo Night?"

Howard sighed manfully as he lowered himself onto the couch. "If I have to."

Sheldon rounded on Howard in indignation. "Have to? It's Halo!"

Howard raised his hands defensively against the seeming aggression. "I know, I know, it's just, for once, I'd like to play something different on a Wednesday night, okay?"

Sheldon sniffed. "Your objection has been registered."

Leonard rolled back in his chair. "Well, if it's another exciting night of Halo, while you two are setting up, I'm going to go see if I can phone Priya. She keeps blowing me off on Skype the last few weeks."

He headed back to his bedroom while the other two watched him in silence.

"I hate to say this, but you'd think he'd be better company now that Raj is off to India, visiting his folks," Howard observed. "It's not like he should be giving Raj grief for sleeping with Penny, anyway, since he's involved with Priya and all, but. . . ." Shrugging, he got up from the couch to start assembling the console components for the night's game.

Sheldon sipped primly from his tea cup as he bleakly contemplated the injustice of it all. "To be honest, I don't know why Leonard insisted on moving back in. Raj was, in many ways, a preferable roommate. Although, if he had stayed here and continued a liaison with Penny, I would have had to amend the roommate agreement extensively."

Howard barked in laughter as he hooked the console into the television. "I think Penny would cut him a new one, from what Bernadette's said."

"Amy has indicated much the same," Sheldon said, head cocked thoughtfully to one side. "'Lord, what fools these mortals be!'"

"Huh?" Howard asked.

Sheldon waved a hand irritably. "Shakespeare. Never mind."

Rising from his desk, he crossed the room and began to leaf through the papers on Leonard's.

"Stop that," Howard said uneasily as he pulled the controls over to the couch. "Aren't those the top secret things?"

"Oh, really," Sheldon said. "I have as much clearance as Leonard does."

Howard rested his hands on his green-clad knees, shifting awkwardly as he glanced up at the string theorist. "Yeah, but you're not _on_ the project, so you shouldn't be looking at it. And aren't you on the record against the whole research program anyway?"

"Precisely why I should be reviewing these papers. Maybe someone needs to blow some whistles!"

Sheldon peered doubtfully at one of the diagrams. "I mean, look at this," he demanded of Howard, shoving the page in front of his face.

Howard raised one hand. "I'm not getting pulled into this. I had enough trouble today pretending to be vitally interested in china patterns!"

Sheldon sniffed but relented. "The entire concept is cockamamie, if you ask me. An Einstein-Rosen bridge is based on wrongheaded conjectures."

"Yet they have the money and you don't," Howard pointed out smoothly.

Sheldon opened his mouth to retort as Leonard turned the corner from his room. "Priya says she's too busy with a family get-together to talk. Ah-hey!" Leonard protested, charging down the hallway to grab the papers Sheldon clutched. "You're not supposed to look at those!"

"Finders, keepers," Sheldon countered, holding the papers high over his head until Leonard twisted his free arm.

"Oh, all right," Sheldon said. "I was just looking through them to confirm what I already knew."

"Which is?" Leonard asked warily, shuffling through the papers to make sure they were all there.

"That the project is a colossal waste of time and energy. They're attempting the impossible!"

Leonard smirked. "Is that so? Then how do you explain this?" He marched over to his laptop, clicked a few times and brought up a video file. Hitting ESC, it started up in fullscreen mode and the three men sat down on the couch with the laptop perched in front of them. "Prepare to eat your words."

The footage was grainy and hard to follow at first, in the dark, in a moving vehicle. A confusing array of voices was drowned out by the sudden gunning of an engine.

"I fail to see," Sheldon began but was shushed by the two other men.

"Wait for it," Leonard hissed.

The handheld camera focused in on a swirling light in the sky, blue-green in color as the vehicle the observers were riding in raced along a rough road. Out of the brightening light, an incandescent bolt shot down to earth, bringing a roaring dust cloud into being.

A rainbow seethed briefly on the laptop screen, then suddenly cut off as the van careened into the dust cloud. Confused shouts echoed and a darker smudge came into view just before the footage abruptly ended.

"Was that," Howard asked hesitantly, "a man?"

Sheldon's mouth opened and closed a few times before seizing on those words. "A man. See? They hit a man. I told you these women were up to no good, Leonard!"

"No you didn't," his roommate retorted. "And I don't think that was a person, Howard. But it's beside the point! I've seen the data that their sensors recorded as well as this footage. The energy is almost off the charts. It fits all the criteria of an Einstein-Rosen bridge, though. An honest-to-god wormhole, right here."

Sheldon crossed his arms. "Impossible. There has to be another explanation. This is a hoax. A fraud. An impossibility!"

Leonard put the laptop down on the table in front of them. Raising his chin, he mirrored Sheldon's pouting expression. "I don't think so. But then, I'm just an experimental physicist. What would I know? But you'll never know if I'm right or I'm wrong until Jane Foster wins a Nobel prize for her research that you ignored."

Sheldon leapt off the couch. "Oh, you're so wrong."

Howard and Leonard exchanged amused glances. "Prove it. If you join the project and you can prove it's all a hoax, I'll introduce you to Agent Coulson, the very scary man who checked me out in my lab and who'll probably cut all their funding and bury them in a box somewhere in a deep sea trench from the level of scary he emits if they're faking all of this."

"Brr," Howard said, shivering at the thought. "You know, maybe I should let you two hash this top secret scary agent man stuff out without me."

"Nonsense," Sheldon said. "Inform Dr. Foster that I'm joining her project as a consultant in order to see that real science triumphs. In the meantime, however, I am going to kick both of your butts at Halo."

Leonard smirked again as he picked up his controller. "You're on!"


	4. Chapter 4

  
Amy waved as she made her way into the bar. "Besties! Jane! Darcy!"  
  
Plunking herself down on the stool, the neurobiologist smiled gleefully. "I hear from Sheldon that he's now consulting on your project. Mission accomplished."  
  
Darcy snorted as she sipped her drink and grabbed another handful of chips from the bowl. "Doesn't anybody respect 'Top Secret' anymore these days?"  
  
Bernadette chortled. "Not really. You should hear what goes down in germ warfare research. Let's just say that you should all stock up on your full-spectrum antivirals!"   
  
Penny's eyes widened at the thought. "Hit me again," she said to the bartender.  
  
Jane lifted her glass and the lanky woman behind the bar soon had both their orders filled. The five women refocused on each other.  
  
"So, what's it like working with Sheldon?" Penny asked cheerfully.  
  
"I don't know quite yet," Jane confessed. "We've yet to sit down and meet, though I sent him a data set last week. In any case, Sheldon refuses to join us in New Mexico. But Leonard's going to come back down and help with the new equipment we're calibrating. He'll be with us for a week."  
  
"Huh," Penny said thoughtfully, stirring her drink. "If it weren't for you guys and Saturday night laundry with Sheldon, I wouldn't know what's going on in Leonard's life. He still doesn't talk to me."  
  
"Afraid of Priya or is it still the 'Raj thing'?" Bernadette asked.  
  
Penny rolled her eyes. "Honestly, I don't know and, at this point, I don't much care. Leonard Hofstadter is not my whole world."  
  
Darcy lifted her glass in a salute and the other women followed. Conversation turned to a spirited discussion of the merits of chick lit with two for and three against, before Amy insisted that they rate the merits of current movie stars according to an ordered scale she drafted on the back of a cocktail napkin.  
  
"It's scientific," she protested when they balled up the napkin and refused to play any more after the second round of drinks.  
  
"Let's just go see the movie," Darcy pleaded, "I have nothing else to do in Puente Antiguo but work, slather on the sunscreen and surf the internet."  
  
"That does sound pretty grim," Penny said, as the women paid their tabs and headed out into the Pasadena twilight.  
  
"How's the whole long distance relationship thing working with you and, what's his name?, Thor," she asked of Jane as they headed into the multiplex a few steps behind the other women.  
  
Jane frowned slightly. "It's, not, well, he's not in a place where he can communicate at all."  
  
Penny winced sympathetically. "That sucks! Almost worse than no boyfriend at all and, let me tell you, I should know."  
  
"Let's hope that they haven't already picked some weepy romantic comedy," Jane said as they joined Amy, Bernadette and Darcy at the ticket counter. "I have an urge to see things get blown up."  
  
"One mindless action flick full of hot manflesh," Darcy promised, passing a ticket back to her boss who smiled gratefully.  
  
***  
  
Sighing quietly to herself, Jane closed the folder that held the still-blank pad of paper she'd been hoping to fill with notes relating to her collaboration with the man who sat, stone-faced, across the desk from her.  
  
"Look, if you don't want to be involved in the project, don't!" Jane exclaimed as she started to get out of the chair.  
  
"I never said that," Sheldon retorted, but his mulish expression was far from welcoming.  
  
Jane sighed again. "All you've done for the last half-hour is run some sort of cross-examination where you've repeatedly implied that I fabricated all of the evidence for our phenomenon. I hardly call that collaborating!"  
  
Sheldon arched one eyebrow disdainfully. "You may not, but I've been providing an invaluable service simply by ensuring that you haven't falsified this data. Let me tell you that there are plenty of other scientists who wouldn't be half as helpful as I've been."  
  
Jane glared back at him. "I don't need to waste half a day getting patronizing lectures from some string theorist, thanks so much. I got enough of these in grad school and yours are just as misguided as theirs were!"  
  
Sheldon sniffed, rising from his desk chair to lean across the desk, fury evident in his every deep breath. " _Misguided?_ Oh, I, I. . . look, even if you _did_ observe a genuine Einstein-Rosen bridge all those months ago, you'll never be able to recreate it, not with current standards of technology, Dr. Foster!"  
  
Straightening, he strode across the room to his whiteboard. Picking up a marker, he began to write equations while giving a running commentary. "This represents the energy involved in the simplest Einstein-Rosen bridge. This represents the additional energy necessary to contain one so that it didn't destroy a fair chunk of the earth. And _this_ represents the energy necessary to sustain the phenomenon long enough to permit for transmission of materials or data to test the link, which I can only assume is your aim."  
  
With a triumphant flourish, Sheldon concluded the calculations, then capped the marker, spinning to stare at Jane. "Don't delude yourself, Dr. Foster. What you propose, to generate an Einstein-Rosen bridge, is simply impossible at this point in history. Your endeavour is doomed to failure even without addressing the gaping holes in the theory underlying your scheme. I'm only being merciful by showing you this sooner rather than later."  
  
Jane stalked out of his office, too angry to say anything else. Blindly making her way down the hall, she bumped into Leonard.  
  
"Hey," he said, taking in her dark expression and the open door down the hallway. "Oh, you've seen Sheldon. Here, let's go grab a coffee or something."  
  
Jane drew in a deep breath, seeking to calm herself. "Good idea."  
  
Neither spoke until they'd reached the coffee house. Jane gave her order in clipped tones and Leonard followed suit a little bit more comfortably. He let Jane lead them to a table and waited while she cradled the cup for a few minutes before she finally spoke.  
  
"He's right, you know."  
  
Leonard winced. "Sheldon often is, don't tell him I told you that, but right about what?"  
  
Jane lifted her eyes from their contemplation of her coffee. "That what we're trying to do is impossible."  
  
Leonard made a scoffing sound. "No, it's not. You saw it. You know a wormhole is possible. And your model? It's sound! Sheldon's just cranky, that's all."  
  
Jane sipped at her coffee and then stared at the table top. "No, he's right. He broke down the math on the energy required to do what we're trying to do. Even with the fantastic generators that the agency secured, we're falling short. Far short. We can't generate an Einstein-Rosen bridge here."  
  
Leonard banged his fist on the table in frustration. The other patrons of the coffee bar looked up, startled, and he shrugged into himself, embarrassed. "Um, look, just because Sheldon has found some problems, maybe, that isn't time to call it quits. We just have to apply some more brainpower to the issue, that's all."  
  
"You're pretty stubborn, aren't you?" Jane said, smiling a tiny bit against the raging despair that had gripped her since coming to terms with the flaws in the project.  
  
"Hey, I've been Sheldon Cooper's roommate for seven years, now. There's nothing but stubbornness that'd make that happen," Leonard joked.  
  
"You're stubborn about some other things, or so I hear," Jane observed.  
  
Leonard's cheery expression dissipated. "Like what?" he asked warily.  
  
"Penny says you don't talk to her or Raj anymore," Jane replied, watching Leonard over the rim of her coffee cup.  
  
Leonard frowned, his dark brows closing over the frame of his glasses. "Yeah, well, I have good reason not to," he said.  
  
"Like what?" Jane parried.  
  
"Just trust me, okay?" Leonard said uneasily, shoving his chair around in clear discomfort.  
  
Jane opened her mouth, then closed it. She didn't know Leonard well enough, she supposed, and for all that she'd happily taken him on as a contributor to the project, she'd not shared the real implications of the wormhole with Leonard or any of the Caltech scientists.  
  
"Still game for this field trip to New Mexico?" Jane asked, deciding it was better to change the subject, all around.  
  
"What?" Leonard said in abstraction before refocusing. "Sure thing. Wouldn't miss it for the world!"  
  
"Darcy and I could pick you up at the apartment if you don't want to leave your car at the airport," Jane offered.  
  
"Nah," Leonard answered. "It'll be easier when I fly back from Albuquerque to have it waiting there."  
  
They idly talked of the weather in Puente Antiguo and the security measures at the new SHIELD-sponsored lab Jane was running near the drop site. When her phone sang with a call from Darcy, Jane waved goodbye to Leonard with, if not a light heart, at least a determined sense of hope that they'd be able to make the wormhole work, one way or another.  
  
***  
  
"Ah, hey," Penny said warily as she turned the last corner in the stairwell to her floor. Leonard was outside the guys' apartment, twisting the key in the lock.  
  
"Ah, hey you," Leonard responded, fumbling with the key, his suitcase and a ratty messenger bag which he almost stumbled over, making room for Penny as she came up the stairs.  
  
"So you're off to New Mexico," Penny observed, waiting carefully to see how Leonard responded.  
  
He fidgeted around with his keys before dropping them into his pocket. "Yeah. Going to work on a project."  
  
Penny snorted a bit as she leaned against the wall beside the blocked-off elevator. "Come on, we all know this is Jane's project for the Einstein-whatsit thingie. You can all pretend it's top secret and all that but it's just kind of silly."  
  
Leonard rolled his eyes at that but nodded. "Yeah, and speaking of kind of silly. . . ." His voice trailed off.  
  
Penny crossed her arms and arched one eyebrow expectantly. "Yeah?"  
  
Leonard ducked his head. "Well, I was kinda, I mean, I owe you an apology because, well, I've been kind of a jerk. . . ."  
  
As his voice trailed off, Penny screwed up her face. "I'll say," she blurted out when Leonard seemed to have run out of words.  
  
"Hey," Leonard snapped back, "it isn't easy, you know, I mean, dammit-"  
  
Penny softened slightly at his obvious discomfort. "I know," she allowed, then let her voice drop an octave. "Apology accepted, Admiral Needa."  
  
Leonard smiled geekily at her _Star Wars_ reference. "It was Captain Needa, actually, but that's pretty awesome."  
  
Penny smirked back. "I know."  
  
Leonard looked at his watch and started suddenly. "Shit. I have to get going to the airport. But, honestly, Penny, I am sorry for being such a jerk. I miss being friends with you!"  
  
He pelted down the stairs in a confused mass of messenger bag, suitcase and man. Penny waved as he rounded the staircase corner with a grin.  
  
"Miss you, too," she said softly before fishing out her own keys and heading to her apartment.


	5. Chapter 5

  
"One of the best things about coming back from Pasadena is all the great coffee we score from Jones'," Darcy enthused as she poured her second cup of Chuck Roast.

Leonard smiled nervously as he clutched his mug. He was still a bit intimidated by the pristine workshop where a dozen bustling technicians were busy running cables and setting up consoles while several other laborers were installing controls for a massive set of doors that dominated the north face of the low-slung building. He also kept a nervous eye out for Agent Coulson and his patented glare of doom.

Jane joined them, a bright flush of anticipation or nerves colouring her cheeks. "Well, what do you think?"

Leonard looked around weakly. "Kinda scary to be honest," he confessed.

Jane and Darcy laughed. "We feel the same way," Jane confided as she poured herself a cup of Darcy's prized coffee. "It wasn't so bad when my old prof, Erik, was around. But he's gotten involved in another SHIELD-funded project and I don't hear from him anymore. It's hard to feel like the boss of something when it's so much bigger than you."

"I'll bet," Leonard said, as he watched all the people busy around them. "And it doesn't help not to know how things are going to work out."

"Exactly," Jane exclaimed. "I wake up in the middle of the night, almost hoping this was all a bad dream."

Darcy patted Jane on the shoulder. "Come on," she said, encouragingly. "I never thought you'd be the one to give up hope!"

Jane smiled, but it was clear her heart wasn't in the gesture. "I'm just so afraid that Sheldon was right. I've been running through the math, myself, the last two days and I have to agree. Even with all the power we're going to have available, there's nowhere enough to spark a wormhole reaction, let alone sustain it."

Leonard put his coffee cup down on the counter beside him and squared his chin. "I refuse to let Sheldon win this one. There's got to be a way for us to figure this one out."

He pulled up a chair and joined Jane in front of the one bank of computers up and running in the cavernous lab space. She tapped at the keyboard, calling up some spreadsheets and a simulation of the energy beam they had hoped would call the Einstein-Rosen bridge into existence.

Leonard peered at the numbers and the two physicists muttered and mumbled as they tweaked the simulation settings again and again. Darcy stopped by with a plate of food at midday which she pulled away, mostly untouched, a few hours later.

"Guys, they're going to have to cut power to the mains in here for the last set of installations," Darcy said apologetically. Jane and Leonard looked up at her in bleary surprise.

"Is it that late already? I guess it's time for a break," Jane said in clear disappointment, stretching awkwardly as she pulled herself out of the office chair, grabbing her ever-present journal.

Leonard moved even more stiffly as he stood up. "Definitely time for a break," he said, following the other women out of the building and blinked against the bright, late afternoon sun.

"Puente Antiguo doesn't run to too much, but the diner's pretty good," Jane noted. "If you want to crash at the motel instead of coming to the diner, there's one pizza place that delivers."

Leonard considered his options. "Can I get a few hours at the motel, then we'll do dinner? I want to think on something for a while."

Jane nodded. "Sure."

She looked over at Darcy. "Can you drive him back? I have to meet with Agent Coulson to go over the progress, here."

The younger woman nodded, hopping up to the driver's seat of their rickety old van while Leonard clambered into the passenger seat far less easily.

As they drove off, Jane simply stared into the sky above the landing site, hoping against hope for some sort of miracle.

***

"You're right," Leonard enthused, as he dug into the plate of barbecue, "this is a great diner."

Jane and Darcy smiled smugly. "Hope you've saved room for pie," Darcy added as she cleaned her own plate.

Leonard groaned but seemed game. When the waitress came by to take their order, Jane abstained from dessert.

"Not hungry?" Darcy asked.

Jane pursed her lips as she traced one thumbnail absently across the table top. "Not that so much as I just don't know where we're going now."

Leonard nodded. "It's a lot on your shoulders but why is there such a rush? I've never seen so many people pulled in a research project before. It's like it's a matter of national security!"

Jane ducked her head. At her pointed non-answer, Leonard's eyes widened dramatically and he turned to look at Darcy, who solemnly nodded her head at his unspoken question.

"Well, then," Leonard stuttered out before digging into his pie.

The trio finished their meals and headed out into the twilight, ending up at Jane's original headquarters, now mostly turned into a pit stop for the original research team. Darcy turned on the coffeemaker while Leonard regarded Jane warily.

"So, national security?"

Jane rolled her eyes. "Honestly, it's even more complicated than that, but let's just say that the agency funding this has bigger concerns than scientific exploration."

Leonard rubbed his temples as if he was in pain. "Okay, then, why are you so involved in this? I mean, the science is great, I get it, but why are you pushing so hard, yourself? Don't tell me it's just because Agent Scary-pants has something on you."

Jane chuckled briefly. "No. It's part scientific pride, I guess, but also because I met someone during the project and I won't be able to see him again until this problem's solved."

Leonard's eyes widened as he worked through the implications of Jane's comments. He wandered off to the wall of windows, looking out upon the quiet town of Puente Antiguo, slowly settling in for the night.

Darcy shoved another mug of coffee into his hands and he took it wordlessly, seeming anchored by the earthliness of the coffee mug. Finally, after a few minutes of silent contemplation, he shook his head sharply, returned to the table and took a seat across from Jane.

"All right. Well, I don't have a clue how that last bit works out, but if we just focus on the science, we should get through." Leonard paused for a sip of coffee, then focused intently on the physicist across the table from him. "I've been thinking, since our talk back in Pasadena, and I've figured out that if you keep trying to initiate the Einstein-Rosen bridge, you're never going to get anywhere."

Jane winced. "That's heartening."

Leonard put his mug on the table and raised one hand in warning. "Don't get ahead of me. You can't _start_ a wormhole from here, but maybe you can spark a wormhole. . ."

Jane frowned in concentration for a second. "I think I see what you're saying. We detected it before but didn't start it. . ."

Leonard nodded excitedly, his voice rising in pitch. "You're still detecting some of the energy signature, you said, just at a much lower level than before."

"And a bit unfocused," Jane added, abandoning her own coffee mug to pull out her journal, and start rifling through it.

"Darcy," she called out as she flipped through the pages, "bring-"

"Got it," her intern said as she deposited one of the laptops on the table between them.

Leonard grabbed the computer and, firing it up, began to run through some of the records, calling up a cascade of numbers. Jane flipped through her notebook, coming to one of the pages near the back where she started annotating furiously.

"Correlating your earlier observations with the most recent data, we see a twenty percent drop in the energy," Leonard commented as he toggled back and forth between some of the spreadsheets.

"We've been trying to come up with 100% of the wormhole's energy in a very small area, and failing by a large margin. The best we've been able to do is about 7% so that's still no good," Jane noted as she ran through some calculations.

Leonard squinted at another screen on the laptop. "Now this is where I'm kind of fuzzy. There's a core line or path of high energy certain areas and I'm not sure why. But if you focus in on a few sections, there's approximately 90% of the energy still available. Like a superhighway of quantum energy!"

Jane turned the screen her way. "I'm not sure, but I think that's correlating with the dark matter mapped along this path. If we could refine our detection of that, we could piggyback on the strongest parts of the dormant bridge in those areas."

Leonard sat back. "I think you're right but I don't know much about this."

Darcy leaned over from where she'd quietly been watching. "You know someone who does, though."

Jane and Darcy watched as Leonard's expression darkened. They thought of Bernadette's comments about his likely jealousy. Jane squared her shoulders. "Maybe an email won't be too intimidating. I could ask him. . . ."

Waving his hand in irritation, Leonard stood up. "No, no. Raj has trouble opening emails from women. If we want to get this done quickly, I need to be the one to ask him."

"Okay," Jane agreed. "How soon can you do that?"

At this, Leonard's eyes dropped. The two women could sense his discomfort but took heart from the way he finally looked up to meet their gaze. "No time like the present, I guess. I'll take the laptop back to my motel room, phone him there and see what we can get going."

Jane smiled brightly, standing up to give Leonard a quick hug. "Thanks," she said. "I'll be here, try to work on how we can use the five generators we do have as a jumpstart."

"Save some of the fun for me," Leonard asked, before shutting the laptop to carry it with him as Darcy grabbed the keys for the van and prepared to drive them off into the night.


	6. Chapter 6

  
"Hullo," Raj's voice sounded crisp and clear despite the distance.

"Um, hi Raj, it's me," Leonard responded. When he got no response, he pulled the phone back to make sure it was working. "Hello, Raj?"

"Leonard," Raj replied flatly.

"Um, look," Leonard started, "I know this is awkward-"

"Awkward?" Raj queried angrily. "You're not joking! You've treated me like an Untouchable since that morning when. . . ." His voice trailed off as he thought back to the horribly embarrassing scene where the other guys had seen Raj and Penny emerging from Leonard's bedroom.

Silence dominated the phone line for a moment than each man spoke, their tense words unintelligible as they collided. They stopped, then tried again to the same effect.

"Let me, Raj!" Leonard finally shouted over the other man's expostulations.

"Okay," Raj offered tersely.

Leonard closed his eyes and tried to focus on what was important. He had a favour to ask of Raj, one that would mean the world to Jane's project and his own small part in it. But Leonard also had something more at stake. Fraught as his long-distance relationship was with Priya, entangled in her parent's disapproval of their dating, his friendship with Raj had been all but lost thanks to Leonard's outraged response to catching his former girlfriend and his friend doing the walk of shame.

Leonard pinched the bridge of his nose, shoving the glasses right up against the bone of his skull. "Look, Raj, I need to apologize," he began.

"You sure as shooting do, Leonard," Raj interjected before Leonard shushed him.

"Please," he said, "just let me get this out?"

Raj grunted an assent on his end, and Leonard tried again. "I need to apologize, I _do_ apologize. I was really upset to find you'd slept with Penny in my bedroom and I guess I went over the top."

From the other end of the phone, a strangled sound of assent made it clear that Raj was listening and had his own opinions.

"And since you had to put up with Priya and I at your place, I know that's really uncalled for," Leonard continued. "But I was just not up to, well, confronting it until now. So, I'm apologizing."

Raj's breath sounded through the phone line for the longest time before he finally responded. "Okay, I forgive you. But I won't forget and, boy, you have some grovelling to do."

Leonard sighed, his shoulders dropping in a dramatic loss of tension. "Okay, I'll grovel, I'll go kite-fighting with you and we'll team up to beat Sheldon at Wii bowling."

Raj's agreement was enthusiastic. Before he could go on with a longer list of the activities they needed to do, Leonard interrupted.

"But more than planning stuff to do, I have another thing to ask you," Leonard said.

"You're not asking me permission to marry my sister?," Raj asked suspiciously. "Because, if you are, you need to know that I am so not ready for that and, anyway, it's my parents you should ask-"

"No," Leonard hastily interjected, "No! Priya and I aren't anywhere near that, anyway. No, it's to do with the research project here in New Mexico. You know, _that_ one?"

"What? Oh, _that one_ ," Raj breathed, his voice rising a notch as he obviously thought back on the women involved. "What about it?"

"We're on the verge of solving the problem, but there's something to do with dark matter within and just outside the solar system that's going to be vital to the solution. And, well, there's nobody who knows this better than you so, can you help?"

Leonard waited for an answer, holding his breath as the moments ticked by.

"Let me get this straight, you want me to help with the project? Jane wants me to help with the project? But I don't have the clearance," Raj said, "won't that count me out?"

Leonard grinned. "I think you'll find things are working out just fine. I'll send you some of the files via the university's secure system. Would you be up for coming out to New Mexico?"

"As long as I don't have to speak to any ladies, I'll be there," Raj promised. "But I might bring a long a few others."

"Um, well, o-kay," Leonard replied warily. "Call me on my cell when you're getting close. I'll give you directions to the research site in town."

"You're on," Raj enthused. Leonard collapsed back on his motel bed in a combination of apprehension and relief.

***

"Surprise! Since I have clearance through NASA, I thought I'd come along, especially since Sheldon can't drive," Howard leaned out the driver's side door as he pulled up beside Jane's original research site in Puente Antiguo proper. Raj bounced out of the back seat and from the front passenger seat, a small harrumph was clearly heard as the engine turned off.

Leonard smiled weakly. "Oh boy," he managed. Sheldon _and_ Howard! A small part of him wished that they'd brought Penny along, but he dismissed that wistful fantasy while Sheldon carefully exited the car, glaring balefully at the desolate, sun-drenched landscape.

"Charming," the taller man sniffed. "I'm only here because I thought someone ought to bring this little zany escapade back to solid scientific ground. I can't believe you've dragged Raj into this!"

Striding past his roommate, Sheldon prepared to take on all comers. But since Jane and Darcy were still at the installation, there was no one he could confront. He visibly deflated as the three others followed him into the building.

"Is this everything?" Sheldon asked disdainfully, striding around the haphazard piles of equipment.

"Hardly," Leonard smirked. "This is their original site, but the new facility's up and ready to get going, just out of town. That is if Raj can help solve the problem."

"Am I cleared to be on the project?" Raj asked worriedly.

"Yup," Leonard confirmed. "Jane put her request through and Agent Coulson said you're good to go."

At this, the astrophysicist bubbled happily. "I've been working on it non-stop since we spoke, Leonard. The data is clear when you cross-reference it with the wormhole signature. The dark matter is a link, almost a bridge of sorts. I've run some simulations that show exactly what I mean."

With a thump, Raj laid the laptop he was clutching down on a table. Sheldon hovered with a disapproving frown on his face, but Howard and Leonard proved a more receptive audience to review his findings.

"I've got to call Jane. She'll be so excited," Leonard said. "Probably someone'll come right away to drag us all out there."

"We're way ahead of you," said a trim, dapper, quiet man in the black suit, who'd opened the door while the rest were focused on the screen. "I'm Agent Coulson and these men must be-?"

Introductions were swiftly performed by a nervous Leonard. All of the friends were nervous, to be honest, except for Sheldon, who only offered the briefest of handshakes for the greeting.

"My men have a comfortable transport ready to bring you out to the installation, so if you'll follow me," the SHIELD agent smoothly chivvied the four men out the door and into a van that Leonard had to admit was far more comfortable than Jane's rough vehicle.

"Gee whiz," Howard commented, as they raced along the road out into the desert, "this must really be big stuff. I've never seen so many security guys and agents in my life and I'm used to the craziness of NASA projects!"

Leonard absently agreed as they headed westward. Raj jittered nervously in his seat, seemingly both eager to get started and dreading the possible encounter with professional women lying ahead. Only Sheldon seemed unmoved.

***

When they arrived at the installation, it was clear that major changes had been underway. The team of construction workers was doubled, reorganizing the wiring to small generators and Jane crouched over a small table just inside the door, doodling in her ever-present notepad. Spotting the SHIELD van, she straightened as if to run up, then stopped, conscious that she'd be inhibiting Raj.

"Maybe we should give him a drink," Howard hissed. The four men got out of the van under Agent Coulson's watchful eye and Leonard shushed the engineer before he might make any more suggestions that might get them into trouble.

"You translate for him, okay?" Leonard asked.

Howard sighed. "Okay," he agreed. Raj brightened at this familiar routine but still gave Jane a wide berth as they came over to her spot.

"I hope you've got something good," she said to the four in general, although her tone seemed to rise in disbelief as she regarded Sheldon standing behind the rest.

"I think Raj does," Leonard commented. "Here, let him show you and Howard will help with any, erm, translations?"

Jane's eyebrows rose at the last, but she soon saw what was meant. Raj's laptop opened and Howard gave a running commentary interrupted every now and then by Raj whispering in his ear. The awkward three-way conversation went better than expected until Sheldon weighed in.

"Really," he sniffed, "I can't believe you're overlooking the obvious, nay, the essential part if you really believe this is going to work."

Leonard cocked his head wearily in Sheldon's direction. "What?" he asked.

"Oh, here, let me," Sheldon said, shouldering his way between the others huddled over the laptop. "Quantum theory is so limited, you know. Your concept of the Einstein-Rosen bridge is interesting, but inadequate. Even allowing for the remarkable level of insight that Leonard showed in bringing in Raj to account for dark matter, you're overlooking the essential."

His fingers flew over the keys. "String theory has clearly shown that the wormhole is best understood as an expression of the 10th dimensional mathematics which I, fortunately, have mastered. After studying your data, Raj's material and making extensive explorations of my own, I believe I have the best explanation _and_ the vital solution."

He leaned back from the keyboard with a satisfied smirk on his face. "Voila! The Cooper Construct: a superstring excitation device that will activate your wormhole from this earthbound hellhole."

"Well, I'll be," Raj breathed, before looking at Jane and covering his mouth.

Leonard and Howard nodded and they both crowded in to look at the schematic on the screen.

"Let me see," Jane demanded, slipping underneath Leonard's shoulder to crouch in front of her screen. Her eyes flashed back and forth over the equations and the simple diagram that Sheldon had created.

"We can do this!" Jane almost shrieked, shooting bright glances at the four men before settling on Sheldon. "I could kiss you!"

Sheldon's eyes widened in dismay. "Oh, don't," he began before she quickly stretched up to touch her lips to his cheek, then grabbed the laptop and raced over to where Agent Coulson and several of the workers stood.

Sheldon sighed as he fastidiously wiped his cheek. "Well, that's done. Can we go home now?"

He didn't understand why his friends said they weren't ready, quite yet.


	7. Chapter 7

  
They all watched as the five impossibly small power sources were slotted into their bays by quiet techs while a bank of monitors provide data on the construct that would restore the wormhole link. Just outside the lab, a small network of repeaters helped to focus the energy on earth that would shoot heavenward and activate the unearthly power of the phenomenon that no one but Sheldon would call 'The Cooper Construct'.

"Want to watch from the observation site up top?" Jane asked, leading the way to an area that was only glassed in, already populated by a few other SHIELD agents and observers they didn't recognize. Howard wiggled his way toward the front, unable to see over the shoulders of the taller men while Raj took a station as far from Jane and Darcy as possible.

Sheldon scrunched his nose in annoyance as he entered the flimsy-appearing annex. He pushed against the light wall doubtfully as the door closed behind him.

Leonard smiled. "I wouldn't worry, Sheldon. Everything's been field-tested in hurricane-force winds to ensure the device is completely shielded. Have a little faith!"

Jane chuckled as Sheldon gaped in utter horror at his roommate's remark. "Faith? Leonard, we are _scientists_!"

Leonard sighed and shared a commiserating look with Jane while Sheldon continued to glare at the rest of them. "Okay, then, well how about you trust that the protocols were followed precisely and that all the equipment will perform as designed?"

Sheldon sniffed as he turned his regard out onto the New Mexico night sky with some disdain. "Whatever."

"Are we ready?" Jane asked, looking around at the scientists, staffers and others who'd contributed to the colossal undertaking.

She breathed in deep, then picked up the handset. "Fire it up," she ordered.

"Initiating power-up," an electronically modulated voice replied. Blue lights began to glow and a network of lines buzzed in the circle before them.

Above, in the darkened sky, thunder rumbled. "That's odd," Sheldon remarked. "It didn't look like rain, earlier, and this is hardly the season for such storms."

Jane laughed exultantly. "But it's entirely consistent with our earlier observations," she said.

The darkened sky sullenly brightened, with a storm swirl of clouds gathering overhead as the network on the ground flickered and brightened.

"Geez," Leonard breathed, as a whirling finger of wind reached down from the heavens, almost to the ground in front of them, shot through with an eerie blue glow.

"This looks like it," Darcy almost shouted over the comments in the crowded room and the howl of the wind outside. "But aren't we supposed to see someone, I mean, something else?"

Jane shot a worried glance at her assistant: it seemed clear that while this might be the wormhole they'd sought to recreate, this wasn't the end of the experiment.

Sheldon sniffed, shoving open the door against the whipping winds.

"Wait!" Leonard shouted, stumbling after his roommate. "What are you doing, Sheldon?"

The taller man stepped purposefully closer to the focused funnel. "I believe that Jane and Darcy are under the impression this is some sort of personal transport device. I'll test that theory."

He stopped with his fist planted on his hips and stared skyward before shooting a mischievous look back at Leonard. "Beam me up, Scotty!"

The whirlwind stilled suddenly and, just as the two men were staring at each other in shock, Sheldon disappeared skyward in a rush of multi-coloured light.

"Oh my god," Jane breathed as she stumbled away from the door handle she'd clung to when the men went outside. "Oh. . . my. . . god."

***

Sheldon had to admit that this was an unexpected sensation as he was transported or, more properly, transfigured, across ten dimensions. It seemed to be over in mere moments as his feet made contact with a solid surface and he flailed for balance.

He looked out upon a disconcerting view of the galaxy that he was able to identify as being nowhere near earth. Under his feet, a brightly glowing river of light and energy raced. He harrumphed and slowly turned around to meet the curious gaze of two tall men in armour.

At this last, Sheldon did a double take. While he had hoped for the world of _Star Trek_ , the two figures before him weren't in anything resembling Starfleet uniforms. Instead, they appeared quite retrograde, almost as if they stepped out of the pages of an illustrated children's story or comic book.

"Armoured knights? Impossible!"

The one in gold plate stood closest to Sheldon, staring impassively with amber eyes at the string theorist. "He is. . . harmless. He comes from the world of Jane Foster," the man proclaimed in stentorian tones.

The blond man stepped forward eagerly. He stared intently at Sheldon. "Do you know Jane Foster? Are you her ally?"

Stepping forward with a self-assured tilt to his head, he offered his hand to the tall man, who shook it with a bone-crushing grip.

Sheldon winced but persevered against the pain. "Hello. I'm Dr. Sheldon Cooper and, yes, Dr. Foster has been working with me. How else do you think we made THIS happen? Now, you are?"

When he came to, understandably overcome by the shock of the revelation, Sheldon was grateful that he hadn’t left his iPhone in his back pocket where it certainly would have been damaged as he keeled over. Snapping picture after picture, he chortled to himself as he foresaw himself walking up to the podium in Stockholm to accept his long-awaited Nobel.

"Eat my dust, Smoot," he mumbled under his breath as he held out the camera to take his picture with the towers of Asgard looming in the background. Sheldon paid little notice when Thor stepped past him and was flung through the wormhole back to earth under Heimdall’s direction.

Now it was only Sheldon and the uncommunicative guardian of the Bifrost left in the isolated space. Sheldon glanced around him, looking for a chair or even some sort of communications terminal.

"Gene Roddenberry would have done better," Sheldon snidely commented when his examination revealed nothing of the sort. His attempt to stride down the Bifrost to Asgard met with disappointment. He was instantly barred by Heimdall’s unyielding stance.

"What now?" Sheldon asked wearily.

"No strangers may enter Asgard without the permission of the Allfather," Heimdall answered.

"So? Get it!" Sheldon insisted, but to no avail. Heimdall resumed his watchful pose, facing outward from the alien city.

Sheldon stomped aimlessly and sighed. "You might as well send me back to Earth, then," he grumbled.

No sooner had the words been spoken than the tip of Heimdall’s sword made contact with the bridge and Sheldon was whirled back earthward.

He uncoiled himself from the graceless crouch with which he’d landed, brushing the sleeves of his windbreaker before noticing that no one appeared to be paying any attention to him. They were all gathered around that ‘Thor’ fellow who was hugging Jane close. Raj, Howard and Leonard were gathered a short distance away, gaping at the new arrival and not aware of Sheldon at all until he cleared his throat from just behind them. The three men all jumped.

"Warn a fellow, would ya?" Howard asked.

"Isn’t this cool?" Leonard enthused, waving a hand over at the god of thunder and the crowds swirling around him and the petite physicist who’d worked so hard to organize his return.

"Pretty romantic, you have to admit," Raj commented with a happy sigh.

"Aren’t you going to say anything? I’m back from traversing a good part of the galaxy. I’ve been on an alien world. I’ve shaken hands with aliens. I’ve got the scoop on how much Stan Lee has been passing off as his ‘creative genius’!" Sheldon said the last with emphatic air quotes while the other men just look puzzled.

“Look, Jane talked after you left and told us that this Thor dude came to earth months ago," Howard said, crossing his arms to regard Sheldon with weary annoyance. The others were doing much the same.

"And Stan Lee’s already acknowledged how much he borrowed from Norse mythology," Raj added, "so it’s not like you’re saying anything new there."

"Well, I’ll just wait until the Nobel committee is notified about my breakthrough. I’ll need to book my ticket to Stockholm or will they do that for me?," Sheldon mused.

"Whoa," Leonard interjected, holding up his hands. "First, this is not for public consumption and, second, this is not your discovery. It’s hers!"

Sheldon stared in outrage at his Leonard and his other friends. The three men were regarding Sheldon with expressions of mixed amusement and pity. "You’re all just jealous!"

Leonard laughed. "We’re all just realists. Anyway, with Agent Coulson here and that even scarier guy, all in black with the eye-patch? Well, let’s just say I wouldn’t talk too much about publicity, Nobel notifications or even dissing Stan Lee too loudly."

Sheldon’s mouth opened and closed soundlessly as the other men made their way closer to Jane and Thor. He snapped it shut as he noticed the tall black-clad figure his friends had mentioned eyeing him closely and thought to himself that it must just be a coincidence that the man looked so much like Marvel’s Nick Fury. Surreptitiously, Sheldon reached for his iPhone to see if he could snap a few more shots or at least post his otherworldly pictures to the net.

"I’ll take that," Agent Coulson said smoothly, taking Sheldon’s iPhone before the Texan had any idea he was there.

"But-," Sheldon objected as Coulson and a few other agents carefully shepherded him off to the main building.

"Since you were the first human to travel through the wormhole and back, I’m afraid we’re going to have to hold you for a few hours for examination. All in the name of science, Dr. Cooper!"

Sheldon’s protests were drowned out by the general hubbub as what seemed like all of Puente Antiguo was converging on the site. When he got his iPhone back the next day and was dropped off at the motel, the photos were gone and none of his friends shared his sense of injustice.

"Get over it," Leonard cheerfully advised as he finished packing up his luggage. "We got to do some awesome science, these SHIELD guys cut us all generous expense checks plus we’ve got a standing offer to come back and work with Jane when they’re ready to expand the installation!"

He zipped up his suitcase and headed toward the door with his messenger bag looped over his shoulder. Squinting in the bright New Mexico sunshine, Leonard led the way over to the parking lot. Howard and Raj were stuffing their bags into the rental car as Sheldon continued to expostulate over how he deserved the credit and weren’t they the least bit interested in how he had been wronged!

"It’s going to be a long ride," Raj mournfully observed as they peeled out of Puente Antiguo. Howard and Leonard nodded agreement as Sheldon’s litany of complaints seemed sure to continue all the way home to Pasadena.


End file.
